One World: Chinese Adoptee Links Blog: Issues in the Adoption ...

This past year, Spain has been in the headlines for forced adoptions. Mothers told their baby was stillborn ?? though they?d heard the cry ?? and then not allowed to see the body. The child passed off to a couple who?d been waiting to adopt, who were unwilling to ask too many questions because finally, in their arms, a baby they?d so desperately wanted. Doctors, nurses, and nuns complicit in these arrangements.

So when asked to speak at an adoption conference in Barcelona in November, I had to find what role, if any, this group had played ?? and was delighted with all I learned about AFIN (Adopcions, Familias, Infancias). Affiliated with the University of Barcelona, its reach is worldwide. Speakers for this conference hailed from Argentina to the United States, from neighboring France and faraway China. Talks ranged from the personal to the political, and all addressed ?The triad in adoption, foster care and assisted reproduction: the place of the family of origin.?

Given that my birthmother found me through my mom?s obituary, and we?ve developed a close relationship over these past seventeen years, I was glad to offer the adoptee?s perspective on the initial challenges and the long term benefits of forging and catching up on our relationship. [See Newsletter #29, in English]

Presentations for the two-day conference were offered by sociology professors, adoption researchers and NGO leaders, in addition to personal stories offered by each side of the triad. I sought out the birthmother after her presentation to let her know how much her talk meant to me. Though she didn?t speak English and I don?t speak much Spanish and outside the room we didn?t have the benefit of an interpreter, I told her what I could, touching my hands to my heart.

Most impressive were the lengths adoptive parents went to find the biological families of their children. One mother brought her son to South Africa. The lone identifying piece of information they had on his biological mother was from a picture of him as a toddler: In the background was a long patterned woman?s skirt. Amazingly, they found the skirt wearer, his first mother. Another set of parents took their daughter back to China. In an environment known for tamping down any criticism of the One Child Policy, these Dutch parents were able to find the Chinese parents, the two older sisters and the younger brother. The couple had been forced to give her up for adoption because, as farmers, they couldn?t afford to pay the registration fee required upon her birth.

Throughout the conference presenters reinforced the inherent unfairness of a system in which parents from wealthier countries (U.S., U.K., the Netherlands) seek to adopt children from poorer countries (with South Africa and Nepal now trending upward). Short films depicted parents in remote locations misled into thinking their child was being sent to a school in the city for opportunity, when in reality that school was a center for international adoptions. There was a call for an end to such practices, though those engaging in such practices are not the type to attend such conferences. Fortunately, though, those influencing international laws were there ?? including Newcastle University?s Dr. Peter Selman, who has testified before The Hague on international adoptions.

The conference explored the triad in assisted reproduction and in foster care as well. These presentations mirrored the thoughtful insights provided regarding adoption, though a presentation on surrogacy raised sharp questions from audience members. A surrogacy clinic in India noted how helpful their service was for parents unable to conceive because of health issues, like cancer, or for those facing other crises in their marriage (like impending divorce). The audience reaction was swift and uniform: what about the best interest of the child? Was that not taken into consideration? Perhaps this presenter failed to gauge the audience?s reaction properly because she was on Skype, the only one to present from a remote location, but her responses also fell short. No home studies were necessary, this fertility doctor claimed, when the child is the full biological child of the adoptive parent. And because the child does not look at all like the surrogate, there is no concern, she asserted, that the surrogate would have any difficulty relinquishing the child she bore.

The presenter had to have heard our gasps of disbelief. The moderator stepped in then, skillfully guiding the rest of the discussion. Issues must be raised in order to be addressed, and this clearly was one needing further attention. Dr. Selman noted that surrogacy falls outside of The Hague Convention and separate regulations must be written.

AFIN is one of those rare organizations able to balance and explore the concerns of the different sides of the triad. What better way for those of us in the triad to forge stronger relationships and develop a stronger sense of self? The woman who introduced me and moderated my session, Beatriz San Roman Sobrino, provides research and search and reunion assistance for adoptees. One adoptee she?d recently helped had been one of Spain?s ?lost children.? His mother had already had four children. The hospital staff on their own decided another couple, a childless couple, needed her baby boy more than she did. Such decisions cannot be made unilaterally. Unless and until the true best interests of the child are incorporated, we will continue to need the benefits and insights of groups such as AFIN sharing their thoughtful and experience-based insights through such conferences around the world.

Source: http://www.chineseadoptee.com/2012/02/issues-in-adoption-triad-span-world.html

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